honors coerced me into writing a thing about the denali trip and i just found it! kind of embarrassing but it’s actually pretty good writing. probably as good of a sample as exists. it’s not perfect and i didn’t work very hard on it but i’m pleased with it just the same.
I’m an outstanding advisor. I have a certificate that says so.
I slept with all the boys last night.
I didn’t sleep well and it was the only night I’ll get to sleep in sort of a real bed. That time was stolen from me.
when we see rangers,
we feel many inspired thoughts
mostly about food.
my van nap buddy
reagan of the wildflowers
“UM, IT’S FIREWEED.”
casey birmingham
all would agree: stand-up guy.
(have him pitch your tent)
casey — georgia peach.
she is in a sorority.
that is about it.
OR
underestimate
girl casey at your own risk.
week without shower.
doctor channon price
might glacierize your shoes, but
he knows his berries.
angela, that girl
she is quite good with the food
which means we like her.
the vinyard vines girl
some know her as brette petty
but she didn’t call
[mime phone call, then neck slashing while mouthing”didn’t call”]
she cracked just today.
paula, the devious one.
don’t take your eyes off.
my good friend laura
none deny — a funny girl.
but not for the faint of heart.
OR
my good friend laura
freed from the new york rush hour
loves the last frontier.
(rachel)
the dolphin chaser.
we didn’t brush teeth today
so thanks for the gum.
melissa johnson
my favorite sort-of adult.
yes — preteen bitchfests.
camel-lover joan
goes to the zoo every day.
says, “mango, mango.”
dana the provost
took us rafting. marvelous.
he brought food. smart move.
lydia lyons
southern gal, such comportment
even in a tent.
matthew nickerson
reminds me of my dentist
looks in my mouth less.
OR
matthew nickerson
handled my nervous breakdown
and lent me his socks
todd, trusted driver
crashed the van only the once.
tower of power.
(ryan)
my sole assurance
here in the last frontier.
so not my boyfriend.
yes, ryan, under the pus and the swelling, your throat looks better.
i told my wife that when i retire, i’m going to start wearing thongs. and she said, ‘honey, they’re called flip-flops now.’
is there something i can sign, like a ‘do not resuscitate’? a ‘do not strip’?
when i was interviewing for little miss pinecone, i said my favorite tv show was dukes of hazzard.
later, you and i need to have a thirteen-year-old bitchfest.
NO TANG, NO TAAANG!
