I understand and resonate with all of this too, which is why I kind of interjected and wanted to say something about it.
Throughout high school and into college I went from being a size 12 to a size 14, then 16/18. I was a member of the Fatshionista community on Livejournal early on and also found a separate community just for “inbetweenies” but felt I identified more with fat experiences as I was beginning to gain more weight and gravitated towards the safe space and support of the fat acceptance community.
At the same time, FA is not one universal community. It doesn’t come with a set of rules and is loosely defined. I think it is very much up to individual spaces to set their own rules and boundaries, and up to individual people to take their own experiences into account, partake in the spaces that speak to them, and remove themselves from spaces that are not meant for them.
RBI is for everyone, thin fat or inbetween. That is my promise and something I feel strongly about that has been shaped by my personal experiences.
But I think there is something to be said for those spaces that are completely dedicated to specific subsets of fatties and experiences, denying access to those who don’t apply or can’t relate, and focusing completely on giving that one underprivileged group the sole advantage. Giving power to those who are so often rendered powerless. I will always support that act by checking my size privilege and not imposing my thinner-fatness in deathfat-specific spaces.
Fyfatpositive is not a deathfat-specific space. The girl who submitted a photo of her UK size 14 body did so knowing that she barely made the cut as designated in the blog’s rules, but obviously very much identifies herself as a part of the fat community, so did not think twice. I am of the opinion that she should be welcome. Some disagree, for their own reasons. I don’t know.
All I do know is that I can and will welcome anyone of any size in this community, on this blog, always - so long as we continue to BE AWARE. Always, always be aware.